How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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