Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
