My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
