somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
