I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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