Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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