You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize