I think i sorta joined a cult last night
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
