He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize