wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
