I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
