erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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