Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
