My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
