Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
