is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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