you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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