He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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