The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
