My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize