in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
