I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
