Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
