There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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