I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
