Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
