I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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