my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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