Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
