You really coming over, don't trick.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
