The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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