The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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