After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
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I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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