i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
