No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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