I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
