I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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