i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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