Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
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