wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
