I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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