I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
