I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
