Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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