You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
