I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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