I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize