Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
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