i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
porn star boner night. come get it.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
