There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
