I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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