i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
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The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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