I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
