In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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