we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
