i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I touched a dick in church today
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