It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize