I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
