so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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