I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
