I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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